New Beginnings

In this blog, I am documenting my life. I have come full circle, from trying to become a child of God to actually becoming one. It took me many years of self-deception and searching for something I could not describe to finally find Christ.

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I write research articles, have done so since 1994.  I married my best friend in 2012, and we are in it for the long haul.  I have four children and five grandchildren.  My expertise is in teaching Sunday School.  I love listening to them memorize verses, and telling them Bible stories.  You can see my current endeavors at, and on Facebook at Yucaipa Writer's Group.

Friday, February 11, 2005

The Pivotal Year of My Exit

Nineteen Ninety Six. This Was the Year that I Finally Got Out of The Illustrious “Borg.”

In 1996, I was a Graduate Student, having celebrated Christmas in a Pentecostal Church, a Catholic Church, (1994) and a Lutheran Church in 1995. 1996 was my Pivotal Year. I was tutoring my future husband in English in the beginning of this year, and I met his mom, with whom I seemed to click in a human way. We all went to a play at a church which met in a brick building, so I rationalized that it was not a church, which reduced the guilt. The play was about the Prodigal Son, and it made me think of Scott. That night, about 500 people accepted the Lord, of which I was not one, but I was mysteriously drawn to Doug’s mom, who seemed devoted to her family and grandchildren.

At this point, my stepmom, with whom I had celebrated Christmas in 1995, was controlled by her daughters, who did not want her to have anything to do with me; every time I gave her my address, they threw it out. They were very cold toward me, which was something that I did not understand. But my stepmom’s example of love stayed with me; I wanted to treat my new grandchild as she and Doug’s mom treated theirs.

The very last JW meeting I attended contained a staged advertisement for Bethel. “Brother Wayne” got up there and said that all the little boys should go to Bethel because they would be trained in a trade such as construction, and then they could be set for life, making all kinds of money, and helping to build Kingdom Halls. I knew that this was totally false, because my friend Debbie’s son and many others had applied for Bethel and were turned down, ostensibly because they didn’t Need Anybody. Others had gone for two weeks and come back a mess.

On November 3, 1996, I was supposed to get a ride to the Circuit Assembly in Woodland Hills, and at seven o’clock in the morning; I was standing in the cold in front of my trailer, waiting for this sister to pick me up. I was out there for an hour, and when she didn’t show up, I went into my trailer and called her on the phone. She answered and said that I was supposed to call her the previous night, which I had done, but she said that she wasn’t going, anyway, because she didn’t feel well. I had stood out there for an hour for nothing, and I was not pleased about that. I went over to Doug’s house, and he said that there was a potluck at his church and would I like to go. I said yes, and also said that I wanted to go to church on Christmas Eve with him. I never went to another meeting.

December came and went. On January 1, a sister put a note on my trailer door, which I did not answer, and some time in February, I ran into my book study conductor and his wife in the grocery store, and I was able to put them off as well. I went to church every Sunday with Doug, and his mom was there, too, so I felt as if God was with me in my efforts. Every Sunday, I would be in prayer all day, asking God if this was true and if that was true, and my son gave me my first Bible, the NIV. I had thrown out my copy of the NWT, because that backed up the lies that I had been hearing, I didn’t want to think about those anymore. My mind was made up.

I had begun Substitute Teaching, and I saluted the Flag with the rest of the Students. When they had shown Christmas movies, I watched them and discussed them with the students with no guilt; I felt the freedom that I had never had in the Borg. I had attended the Christmas Play at Doug’s church, and his mom was there and took us out to breakfast, where I wished some people a Merry Christmas; one of whom was a Witness that I didn’t know, and he said, “Likewise”. But I was where I wanted to be.


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