It was in 1971 when I started wavering between the love of Christ and the worship of Jehovah
In 1971, I left the Lutheran Church after an incident which I haven't been able to talk about for 34 years.
On October 13 of that year, I had been in another city, having left a friend babysitting my kids. I came home, and the house was empty. Even the dog and the cat were not there, and that was strange. There was a note on the kitchen table telling me that my children were in some home and that I should call this number. I did that, and was put on hold, hung up on, and made to feel very upset. I called back and finally got somebody on the line, and was told that my children were alone and the police had taken them out and put them in a home and there would be an invistigation. I told them that I had left a babysitter with them, but they would not believe me. I did not know where she was, and I did not have time to find this out, for a half an hour later, a police officer came to the door and present me with a warrant for my arrest. I was shaking so bad, and I sat down. They took me down to the police station, and I went before the judge. He told me the charges were contributing to the delinquency of my minor children, and asked me how I would plead. I did not know what to say, so I said I was guilty. I figured I must have been, since I was not there for them, and they had been walking the streets looking for someone to babysit with them. I could not find my friend. She had moved out leaving no number or anything. So the judge sent me for thirty days in county jail, and an hour and a half after arriving home from out of town, I was in jail. It had gone that fast. I got seven days time for good behavior, and so I was only there for 23 days, but I spent my 29th birthday in jail, and there was no one to bail me out or even find my glasses so that I could see while I was there. The bottom had fallen out of my life.
The Sunday after I got out of jail, I went to the Lutheran Church, and took Holy Communion. Some people whom I had thought were my friends were turning around and staring at me, but they did not talk to me. When I went up to the altar to take Communion, the pastor gave me a dirty look. That was the last service I attended. I still loved God, but not the Lutheran Church.
I had a friend who was associated with Jehovah's Witnesses, and she was telling me some things, but I did not like her much; another friend whose lifestyle was not the best was also associated with them, but I could not look at the actions of others, for they were merely humans. I had to look for God. And my mind was so screwed up, that the magazines looked good; the Watchtower and Awake and the Truth book were looking more and more sensible as time wore on.
This was the beginning of 25 years of torment, for I had to believe things that I had never heard before. Actually, I never did accept a lot of it, for a lot of is was inhumane to others.
Today I am glad that I retained that humanity.
On October 13 of that year, I had been in another city, having left a friend babysitting my kids. I came home, and the house was empty. Even the dog and the cat were not there, and that was strange. There was a note on the kitchen table telling me that my children were in some home and that I should call this number. I did that, and was put on hold, hung up on, and made to feel very upset. I called back and finally got somebody on the line, and was told that my children were alone and the police had taken them out and put them in a home and there would be an invistigation. I told them that I had left a babysitter with them, but they would not believe me. I did not know where she was, and I did not have time to find this out, for a half an hour later, a police officer came to the door and present me with a warrant for my arrest. I was shaking so bad, and I sat down. They took me down to the police station, and I went before the judge. He told me the charges were contributing to the delinquency of my minor children, and asked me how I would plead. I did not know what to say, so I said I was guilty. I figured I must have been, since I was not there for them, and they had been walking the streets looking for someone to babysit with them. I could not find my friend. She had moved out leaving no number or anything. So the judge sent me for thirty days in county jail, and an hour and a half after arriving home from out of town, I was in jail. It had gone that fast. I got seven days time for good behavior, and so I was only there for 23 days, but I spent my 29th birthday in jail, and there was no one to bail me out or even find my glasses so that I could see while I was there. The bottom had fallen out of my life.
The Sunday after I got out of jail, I went to the Lutheran Church, and took Holy Communion. Some people whom I had thought were my friends were turning around and staring at me, but they did not talk to me. When I went up to the altar to take Communion, the pastor gave me a dirty look. That was the last service I attended. I still loved God, but not the Lutheran Church.
I had a friend who was associated with Jehovah's Witnesses, and she was telling me some things, but I did not like her much; another friend whose lifestyle was not the best was also associated with them, but I could not look at the actions of others, for they were merely humans. I had to look for God. And my mind was so screwed up, that the magazines looked good; the Watchtower and Awake and the Truth book were looking more and more sensible as time wore on.
This was the beginning of 25 years of torment, for I had to believe things that I had never heard before. Actually, I never did accept a lot of it, for a lot of is was inhumane to others.
Today I am glad that I retained that humanity.
posted by Claudia Barlow | 10:10 PM
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